Cullen styled truth or Dare! (and funny times!)
by cuteperky
Summary: the parents have left, Renesmee is with Jake at La Push...it's time for truth or dare! review i suck at summary's : but v. good? (Esme Carlisle come back in btw)! not all truth or dare, some sad parts, but gets better! Esme's always hyper!, Carlisle is a gangster!, Alice is a tree hugger!, Edward is...Edward. Jasper is a HOTTIEE!, and Bella is drunk. Also Emmett looses a tooth! vg!
1. Chapter 1 start

**Cullen truth or Dare…..**

**Bella's P.O.V**

I was upstairs with Edward…we were…emmm…well we were busy. Renesmee was at Jake's for the weekend and Esme and Carlisle were traveling for 3 weeks. So the house was empty apart from the cullen children.

I was happy, doing emmmmm…work! Yeah I was busy doing work with Edward when he stopped and he turned to me. I could tell he was annoyed.

"**Bella love, I really don't want to stop but Emmett is going to burst in here in the next minute and I want us to be at least a little decent." **He gave me an apologetic smile before handing me some clothes. I got changed in seconds. I was wearing denim shorts with white ballet flats and a plain white vest top. I did my hair quickly, straightening it and I put gold hoops in my ears. I put some eye shadow on, mascara and lip gloss. I looked over to see Edward dressed in a white casual shirt and faded denim jeans. He wore white trainers and his hair was messy but really sexy. He gave me a smile and a light kiss on the lips before Emmett burst in;

"**wow! I do NOT want to see my baby sissy naked Eddie! I had that experience with Ali and jazzy-pants. I wasn't happy…ROSE wasn't happy…Ali wasn't happy and Jazz Really wasn't happy! Anyways we have no kids around or parents so we want to play CTOD!" **Emmett squealed, ACTUALLY SQUEALED! I looked at Edward confused. What the heck was CTOD? Is it a disease that Emmett has? I giggled mentally. Edward sighed and said 4 words to me 4 words and to Emmett. To me he said `Cullen truth or dare` and to Emmett `fine we are in`.

Emmett skipped (actually skipped!) out of the room calling;

"**Come baby-bells and meet your fate!" **i sighed and me and Edward followed him downstairs

"**Okay who's the dare master?" **Alice asked bouncing on the floor. We all sat in a circle.

"**ZOMG! MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!" **Emmett screamed. I rolled my eyes

"**jeeze Emmett calm down, okay pick someone without making their ears bleed"** I said slowly like I was talking to a toddler.

"**okay whatever bells…emmm EDDIE! Truth or Dare?" **Emmett said darkly

"**em…Truth?" **Edward said smirking.

"**come on! Urgh! Fine. What was the first sexual thought you had on Bella and when was it? IN DETAIL PLEASE ED!" **I Giggled and Edward scowled. Emmett was roaring with laughter.

"**cant we remove Bella from hearing this? Please?" **Edward pleaded I laughed.

"**No we cant remove Bella from hearing this…please enlighten us all of your gentlemanly order" **i smirked big and Edward shrugged.

"**fine I'm just trying to save you from embarrassment Love, well it was when I first visited Bella's house at night and she was sleeping and I was just staring at her body like; `damn she's a virgin…I'm a virgin…lets make some babies! No, no *laugh* but I was like; `if I was human I would fu** her up" **Edward finished proudly. Everyone was shaking with laughter and Emmett was rolling around on the floor. I didn't find it funny at all. I stood up from Edward's lap and I looked at Alice and she nodded. I flicked my hair and went to the other side of the circle and sat on Jasper's lap. He was shocked.

"**What have I done to have the honor of Isabella Marie Cullen sit on my lap?" **Jasper said with his accent. I scowled and pointed at Edward;

"**He's Pi**ing me off big bro…kick is ass after this game please Jazzy-Wazzy!" **I giggled like a little girl and relaxed into Jaspers ward embrace.

Edward looked like he was ready to kill.

He looked round and caught the eye of Rose. Uh Oh.

"**Rose…truth or dare?"** he said with a forced voice. Eek! I'm in trouble later.

"**Dare?" **She said smiling big.

"**I dare you to drive your brand new Ferrari F12berlinetta (**it it even out yet? I haveno idea soz**) into the living room window" **Edward finished happily. Rose smirked and got up quickly and ran to the garage. We sat in silence.

"**your birthday is soon Em, what do you want?" **Alice asked Emmett trying to get some conversation going.

"**I want ice cream!" **Emmett yelled happily.

"**Em…you CANT eat it! You are a vampire! V-a-m-p-i-r-e!" **I Said slowly.

"**All human boys eat ice cream!"**he whined.

"**What if…we freeze some bear blood and make it into a ice cream cone?" **I asked smiling at my child like brother.

"**OMG I LURV YOU BELLS!" **Edward glared at Emmett and I sighed.

"**Edward…he is my BROTHER…I am married to YOU! Seriously stop being so-"**

Just then Rose's car smashed through the front window.

"**OHHH YEAH! EAT ME EAT THIS BITCHES! AHHHHHHHHHH!" **she screamed as her car went through the whole front room and into the other side of the wall and into the pool. I couldn't stop laughing as Rose brought herself back into the house…soaked Jue to the pool. Her hair stuck to her scalp and her make up ran. Her clothes were ripped and the heel of her shoe was broken. If I was human I would of peed myself…oops I think I just did…


	2. Chapter 2 uh oh

Bellas P.O.V

Rose came and sat in the circle, dripping water EVERYWHERE! I couldn't stop laughing I was bouncing on jaspers lap. Which had its effects. Yep. A hard on. I bit my lip trying to stop. Rose sat down and just smiled. Then she looked at me

"**Truth or Dare bells?" **She smiled big

"**DUHHHHH I'm not some sort of wimp! DARE!" **I screamed. Rose smirked

"**Okay come with me sister! You too Ali-cat!" **We all ran up to rose's room and shut the door

"**Shield our minds Bells from eddie!"** Rose stated. I nodded and I shielded.

Rose grabbed white boards and gave me and ali some pens. Then she wrote.

_**`Bella I dare you to let me and Alice dress you up in a stripper outfit and then wait in your room. Then me,Alice,You and Jasper have to run to mike newtons house, where you and Jasper have to pretend to have sex on his bed. Mike then will come in the room! Jasper will be in a stripped costume to!`**_

I just looked at her. Alice was laughing her ass off…of all the…with my BROTHER…who was very handsome…with my husband there…oh my god!

"**you chose dare bells!"** Alice squeeled and her and rose ran to Alices closet. A minute later they came back with a cat stripper outfit. I put it on, grimacing and let them do my make up. I then ran into my room and waited while they dressed jasper up. I heard the scratch of a marker pen on the white board and I sighed. Awkward much?

"**HURRY UP GIRLIES! I WANNA SEE WHAT HAS BELLA SO WORKED UP!"** Emmett screamed. Alice growled from next door.

"**Shut-up Emz! Were NEARLY done!"** Alice screeched. I rolled my eyes. Then the door opened and Alice motioned me to follow. Clicking my tongue I followed like a cat…like a CAT, get it? I'm dressed as a cat?…never mind.

ANYWAY I walked down stairs with Alice and everyone in the room (that was left) stared at me.

"**What are you staring at?" **I asked bluntly.

"**PFFT! What are we staring at bells? YOU you dumb-ass! Your hot as hell and I swear eddie just creamed in his pants!" **Emmett booming laughed made me feel embarrassed.

"**Thanks em" **I mumbled.

"**So who you dressed up for? Is it me? Im sure rosie wont mind you sharing our bed with us?" **Emmett wiggled his eye brows and I giggled.

"**Its for-" **emmett cut me off

"**Edward your so lucky! Man just look at her! Yum!"** I growled.

"**ACTUALLY its for Jasper" **I smirked. Edward and Emmett looked at me like I was crazy, insane, stupid, shocking e.c.t

"**and your OKAY with this Alice?"** Edward spat out

"**Jesus Christ Edward its truth or dare! it's a dare! Come on out jazzy! So we can GO?" **Alice screeched. I covered my ears

"**coming"** I heard Jasper mumble.

He walked down the stairs and my mouth fell open. Jasper stood…in all his glory…with…a man thong on…and a cow boy hat and he had little railings on him, I swear I just jizz in my panties.

"**see something you like darlin'"?** Jasper said low and seductive. I bit my lip

"**why of course cow boy, how couldn't I like the FINE-NESS in front of me?" **I said licking my lips.

"**LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO!" **Rose screamed.

So off we went, Edward refusing to look at me…ugh! JERK! I dressed up for mike NEWTON? Seriously? God!

We arrived in 3 MINUTES. Me and Jasper ran up to his room and Alice gave us a thumbs up, I glared at rose and she laughed.

"**Okay? This is soooo mortifying!" **I gasped out laughing. Jasper laughed too.

"**SOOOO how do we do this?"** I asked after a minute of laughing

"**why you ride me of course"** Jasper said lowly and I growled, not in anger, from the way it sounded on his perfect lips. Mmmmmh.

I shoved him down on mikes bed, careful not to break it and Jasper gave me a shot of lust to help me from the mortification. I then straddled his lap and held onto his little cowboy rains. I listened for mike, he was coming up the stairs. I grinded into Jasper and he made a human moan. I moaned along with him. The door opened and as I was practically jumping up and down on jaspers hardness mike gasped. Jasper gave me lots and lots of lust and we cummed together. I moaned once more and so did jasper. I smelt the smell of cum and I looked at jasper, then at mike. Mike creamed…...EWW!

Mike looked flustered and he stumbled around his words.

"**why…are you in my-my house?…bella arent-arent you with Edward? Jasper? Jasper HALE?, how did? Two on my bed? What?…what?" **he was gaping at me and I smiled.

"**sorry mike, Jasper came down to mine in this and I was like `I must ride this cowboy!` and plus Edward was downstairs so I jamp out the window and I thought you were out, im sorry!" **I squeeled as Jasper picked me up and we jamp out the window. We ran back to the cullen house where everyone else was, laughing all the way.

We arrived in 2 minutes and then we collapsed on the floor laughing. Jasper then picked me up and hugged me, I hugged him back laughing. Edward glared at me and Jasper. Alice came down and gave us blankets and we covered ourselves. Emmett and rose were STILL laughing and Alice was giggling. Jasper sat back down and I plopped down next to him, and he put me on his lap.

"**THAT WAS SO FUNNY BELLS, JAZZ! MIKE CREAMED AND JAZZ CREAMED AND BELLA CREAMED AND WITH ALL THAT LUST I NEARLY CREAMED AND IT WAS LIKE A CREAM PIE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**" Emmett scream/laughed.

"**yeah, yeah. It was fun while it lasted"** I moak sighed.

"**Alice truth or dare babessss?" **I added

"**truth babesss!" **she laughed.

"**tell us your last 3 visions!" **I giggled and she froze in horror.

"**okay…right, the first one was Bella and Jasper"**she giggled nervously.

"**then it was a new stock item in my shop that I MUST HAVE!"**

"**Then…it was a vision of our REAL mates jazz" **she whispered brokenly and everyone gasped.

"**I know this is a huge shock but me and jasper ARE NOT mates, Ive saw my mate in Charlie…bella your dad."**I looked at her in horror. NO! NO! I don't want my dad into vampires! NO! Jasper sent me some calm and I nodded thanks to him. I shook my head and sighed.

"**bella jaspers your mate"**

I gasped and looked at jasper, he nodded

"**that's what the strange pulling thing in my chest is?"** I asked.

"**yes bella" **alice said

"**Okay Alice we will talk later, next?" **

"**okay…Jasper truth or DARE?"**

Jasper looked at me then said;

"**dare"**

Alice smiled a wicked smile,

"**you have to call Charlie over here and ask his permission to marry bella! Then snog her in front of him" **she practically peed herself laughing. I grimaced. Poor daddy. I handed my cell to jazzy-man and he phoned my house phone.

"**hello?" **Charlie's rough voice came through the phone. It was 1 AM…he had a off day tomorrow so it was ok.

"**Charlie you must come over right now, its about bella…sir its important"** Jasper urgently pleaded.

"**ill be over in a minute son…hold tight!" **he gasped then hung up.

10 minutes later and dad pulled up to the cullen house. Jasper stood up as did everyone else and he held me.

"**WHATS WRONG WITH MY BABY? BELLA! IZZY! Baby where are you?" **dad screamed. He came through and he just had his boxers on. `the simpsons` pair that I bought for him 3 years ago. They were heavily stained and I grimaced smelling old cum. GROSSSSSSSSSSSS

"**Sir I wish to ask you for permission to marry your daughter**" Jasper said formally. I giggled.

Charlie looked VERY confused and he looked at Jasper, to me, then to Edward.

"**but she is married?" **he gasped out.

"**I don't care I LOVE HER!"** Jasper screamed like a little girl then kissed me with tongues. And DAMN he was good at it!

"**im going home and you better never call unless its an emergency ever again Isabella swan! I mean cullen! Or hale! I don't care! **" and Charlie burst into tears and ran to his car and went home.

"**poor Charlie."**I sighed. Then we all laughed.

"**okay I got an idea! Lets leave it for tonight and then tomorrow, bella tell Charlie your staying over night and then we will continue this at your old house bella and we can play pranks on Charlie"** alice squeeled!

"**Okay! But not bad pranks right?"** I asked nervously. "**My dads getting old…I don't know how much he can take".**

"**course not my mate"** jasper smiled and Edward glared.

"**Isabella we must talk…meadow in 2." **and then Edward ran after that little speech. I sighed, gave Jasper a peak on the cheek, and ran after Edward…...

This was gonna be fun….not


	3. Chapter 3 the virgins son

Bella's POV

When I got to Edward and my meadow I was confused

_Where the heck is Edward?-I _said to myself through my mind

Suddenly Edward appeared right in front of me

"**HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I LOVED YOU ISABELLA!" **He screamed at me. I flinched away from him, his voice was like Keith Lemons…cut right through me.

"**Edward Darling, I cant help that im mated to Jasper" **I cood to him…like a child.

"**YOU PRACTICALLY CHEATED ON ME YOU WHORE !" **He screamed once again.

"…**hello? Virgin Mary I have your son here…yes he doesn't have the balls…yeah okay! …Edward your mum says you have to grow a dick and GET A GRIP!" **I pretended to hold a phone up to my ear.

"**you…you silly girl!" **he stamped his foot…seriously? Wow.

"**What eva…were ova virgin! You can go away now with the other virgins like mike newton, im away to play CTOR!" **I Skipped away from the meadow and to my human old house…

On the way to my old human house I pulled my phone out and phoned home;

"**Yello! Cullen Pizza place can I help you?" **Emmett's childish voice rang through the phone.

"**I'm heading over to Charlie's right now…everyone come over in a hour ok?" **I laughed as I ran.

"**where'd Eddie-pants?" **Emmett laughed down the phone.

"**the virgin mary's son is currently moping after being whipped by a woman" **I giggled

"**ciao sis!"**

"**Bye Emmy!"**

And I hung up.

I arrived at Charlie's 2 minutes later and I knocked on the door, Charlie's scent seeping out like water.

Charlie answered looking rough, bed head, and dirty clothes.

"**Bells? Why are you here?" **he mumbled sleepily. It was 8 PM.

"**Can I stay the night daddy? Please just one last night?"** I pouted.

"**of-of course B-Bells…come in! Hungry?" **he stepped aside and I entered.

The house was a MESS! M-E-S-S! pizza boxes, Chinese tubs and chip shop wrappers everywhere. I looked at dads stomach. Yeah he's gotten fatter.

"**Nah im good Ch-Dad…think ill get some sleep. I gad a huge dinenr with Esme" **I fake yawned.

"**think I'll hit the sack too…Night Honey" **and he went upstairs and to bed.

I ran up stairs and face planted my bed, ignoring the other vampires in the room.

"**lets get this party started OH YEAH!" **Emmett sang.

SORRY I'm away to the hospital the now so wont update till next week! Stupid fractured wrist! Byeeeeeeee! 3 xxxxxxx


	4. Chapter 4 holy crap is that whiskers?

**Bella's POV**

"**OKAY! Emm…ALICE! Truth or DARE!"** Emmett giggled like a little school girl.

"**Jesus christ Emmy-Bear! Are you a homo sexual or WHAT?"** I Laughed along with Jasper.

"**fine…TRUTH!" **Alice squeeled.

"**DAMN-IT!…oh I got one! What was your human hair colour?" **Emmett giggled again…im SERIOUSLY getting worried about my brother.

"**Don't be so stupid Emmett Cullen, she cant remember ANYTHING of her human life, no mind her hair colour…stupid boy" **and I looked up and stared into the hard eyes of Edward Cullen…fuck.

"**ACTUALLY I can…you see, when I woke up I had the same hair colour as before (I saw it in a vision sillys!) but I HATED it! So ive been cutting and dying it ever since!" **she touched her hair in disgust.

"**so what was it Ali?" **Rose Asked impatiently.

"…**Ginger"**

And Emmett burst out laughing.

"**Shhh or you'll wake Charlie!" **I hissed at him.

"**Don't worry Darlin' I have him heavily sedated." **Jaspers soothing voice filled my mind and I crawled onto his lap, Edward growled.

"**do…not…touch…my…wife!" **he growled like a Kitten…sweet!

"**Edward Darlin',if you keep acting like that…YOU WONT HAVE A FUCKING WIFE!" **I Screamed. Everyone winced. Oops, high voice alert!

"**ehh, okay? Emmm…..BELLA! Yeah, Bella…Truth or dare babes?" **Alice giggled…god everyone is giggling!

"**Dare babess!" **I yelled happily.

"**Okay you have to walk into charlies room and put fake blood on your white top, and tell him you have been shot…then pretend to faint and then while he trys to dial 911 get up and scream some random shit then run back to your room!" **she laughed evily…

Bloody Dark Pixie…

Grumbling under my breath I grabbed the fake blood she held and opened it then I had an idea…

"**Jazz Honey…could you please help me with this problem?" **I purred and his head snapped in my direction.

"**of course Darlin' anythin' for you…" **he grabbed the fake blood and put some on his hands and started to rub it into my top, just brushing by my breasts…I bit my lip to stop myself moaning…holy fucking Carlisle this was GOOD!

He smirked and Edward growled. I shot him a warning look while Jasper continued, then he was done and he smirked.

"**all done Isabella" **he breathed on my face and I was slightly dazed…

"**thank you Jazz!" **I leaned up and kissed his cheek, Edward growled again…

"**some mother-fucker put a muzzle on that THING!" **I Waved my hand in the direction of Edward. Then I went to Charlie's room.

He was so…CYOOTE WHEN HE SLEPT!

I managed to burst out crying (with jazzy's help) and I held my hand to my stomach.

"**CHARLIE HELP!" **I Screeched.

He shot up and if I wasn't doing a dare and a Vampire I MIGHT have pissed myself laughing.

"**Holy Fucking Chewits! BELLA WHAT HAPPENED!" **He roared…

"**I was stabbed dad…someone was at the door and I opened it and they went STAB and then ran!" **I howled then I fell to the floor and pretended to faint.

Charlie Ran into the hall, shouting for help and looking for the phone…I peaked behind my lashes to see the hall full of fake blood and hand prints that looked like mine…Im SURE it was Alice and she also had done the living room. Stupid Smart Pixie.

Charlie ran into circled before hitting something and then screaming…then I heard him fall to the floor…fainting. I got up and went into the hall.

Emmett had dark clothing on and a mask and was pointing a knife at Charlie who was currently passed out on the floor. I laughed and picked my dad up and laid him in his bed. I then ran into my bedroom.

"**Love I AM sooo glad your back! I missed you!" **Edward gave me his crooked smile and I smiled back, then ran into Jaspers warm embrace…woah woah! WARM? Okk?

"**Emmett Truth or dare?" **I asked.

"**DARE BITCH!" **Jasper growled and bared his teeth at Emmett, who held his hand up in moak surrender.

"**I Dare you to go clean up all the mess that we made from the last dare…" **I smirked and he smirked back.

"**wait lets make a deal! Ill be your slave and do this dare…if you put your sexy underwear on and just wear THAT for the rest of the truth or dares!" **he laughed like a crazy person…oh wait he is.

"**DEAL!" **I Sang and went into my closet…pulled my under wear out and went into the bathroom. I then put on the frilly thong and low cut bra. I smirked at the colour…Hot pink. I then pulled all my hair forward and opened the door. At the door was a pair of diamond studded heels and a note from Alice;

_Bella_

_Wear these, you will be H-O-T…AND it will drive the boys Crazy…especially Jasper!_

_Love you!_

_Alice._

I giggled and put them on… them strutted to my room.

I opened the door and posed…hands on hips and my breasts popping out, everyone was shocked except Alice who smiled.

"**Bella Love…don't you want to cover up a little?" **Edward's voice was tight like he was trying to stop himself from doing something. Yuck.

"**No actually im quite comfy" **I smirked and ran over to Jasper and sat on his lap, I ground my hips into his a little and I felt something…like a rock…HOLY SPRAKLING VAMPIRES HE HAS A HARD ON!

"**Quite comfy Mrs Cullen?" **he breathed onto my neck and I shivered in pleasure. His voice was low and husky.

"**Not yet Mr Whitlock" **I smirked and he growled low.

I arched my back, pushing my breasts out and practically thrusting my ass in the direction of his Dick.

I meowed and he growled. Then a smell hit us and we all looked at Edward.

…I smelt pre-cum.

"**Excuse me…I have to use the bathroom" **and he ran away and we all burst out laughing,

"**you look hot Bells!" **Emmett sighed.

"**Hot doesn't even COVER it" **Jasper Sighed in wonder.

Alice and rose nodded and ran into the closet.

Then they came out…both in underwear.

Oh my fucking Carlisle…

Are they holiding whiskers?

Hey I don't…No…NOO!

They put whiskers on me…


	5. Chapter 5 earthquakes!

Bella POV#

"**Whiskers…seriously?"** I glared at my two sisters.

"**Yes seriously…" **Alice started

"**Because" **Rose added.

"**you"**

"**meowed"**

"**which"**

"**makes"**

"**you"**

"**a"**

"**cute"**

"**lil'"**

"**KITTEN!" **They both yelled happily, throwing their arms everywhere.

I rolled my eyes, silly sisters.

I then paid attention to what they were wearing…Alice in a yellow poka dot bikini and rose in a red stipped one.

We

All

Looked

Hot.

Emmett sighed annoyed and we all looked at him.

"**What is it Em?" **Rose said with a glare.

"**Duh our game?" **he raised an eye brow.

"**right…so…who goes, I think we should start over…it gets funnier and more embarrassing" **Alice smirked and nodded in my direction and I gave her the finger.

"**Okay…Alice truth or dare then" **I smiled at her shocked expression…HA take that banana pants!

"…**Dare" **she whispered.

I smiled biggingly…-(not a word but hey, its cool beans).

"**Strip naked and go into Charlie's room, then when hes all confused sing peanut butter jelly time and tell him you want jelly." **I giggled and she sighed and stripped in front of EVERYONE!

Just then Carlisle and Esme came through my window and Alice gave a shriek and hid behind my chair.

"**we heard you children were playing truth or dare…" **Carlisle shot me a smile.

"**and we wanna play!" **Esme shrieked and plopped down on the floor.

"**But darling, isn't it a little childish?"**

"**SHUT UP CURLY CARLY AND SIT DOWN!" **Esme yelled and Carlisle sighed and sat.

"**Why do you call him curly Carly mom?" **Jasper laughed and Esme beamed while Carlisle hid his face in his hands.

"**Why Jasper…because your father has curly pubes" **she laughed and we all pissed ourselves laughing.

"**Right…Alice go!"**I giggled.

Alice scrunched up her face and ran into Charlie's room. Then I peaked in…

"**Charlie…Charlie…CHARLIE!" **Alice yelled the last part.

My dad jamp up having a spaz attack. OH MY CARLISLE I NEED TO RECORD THIS! And I got my camera out and videoed it.

"**Alice whatareyoudoinghere?" **Charlie asked.

"**ITS PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME, PEANUT BUTTER JELY TIME, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME OH YEAH OH YEAH AND BANJO'S AND BANJO'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLY…PEANUTBUTTERJELLY PEANUTBUTTERJELLY PEANUTBUTTER JELLY AND A BASEBALL BAT!" **SHE SHRIEKED doing this little dance routine.

"**Why are you singing that AWFUL SONG alice?" **Charlie asked.

"**GIVE ME JELLY!"**

"**NO ALICE! GO TO YOUR OWN HOUSE AND GET JELLY"**

"…**K BYE!" **and she ran out and I just managed to scamper out and onto Jaspers lap.

Alice put her clothes on and looked at me;

"**Dare"** I answered knowing what she was gonna ask.

She laughed and smirked evily…

"**Okay two ticks!" **and she ran downstairs.

2 mins later she returned with a crate…OH MY GAWD! NO!

"**OH MY CARLISLE IS THAT…IS THAT…IS THAT…IS THAT." **I MUST have looked like a fish.

"**Yes Belly its your hyper crate" **Alice said simply.

And she sat it down..right in front of me…with all the goodies looking at me.

Oh my flipping sparkling vampires…OH WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA!

"**VAMPS CANT GET DRUNK OR HYPER ALI! SO HA!" **I pointed in her face.

"**Actually Bella Vampires can get both…just takes a lot of Alcohol, by the size of that crate, Yes its DEFFO possible" **Carlisle grimaced at a Memory. Oh god.

"**Drink the vodka and coke first, then the tokay shots…then the energy juice…then Shloer…then the Tequila drinks, then the cranberry juice mixed with the sherbit straws and the rose wine and have 4 bottles of each by the way…then finish it with the bags of sweeties in there" **she pointed and I went around the crate…oh god.

Alice handed me the vodka and coke bottle that she had al ready mixed and I downed it in a oner.

Then another bottle of it…

Then another…

Then another…

The shloer, energy drink,tequila..rose wine ect…multiple times…I was a drunken skunk…

All the other vampires in the room had a little alcohol to but no were NEAR as much as me.!

I stood up wobbly and Jasper followed me…

"**Bella where are you going?" **he asked sweetly…oh he has blonde hair, and pale skin…and he is smexii!

"**STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER STALKER" **I SCREAMED and ran behind Emmett.

"**Bella I'm not a stalker…I is cha mate babess!" **Jasper said wobbling a little.

"**Can I wear you?"** I asked Jasper.

"**I'm a person Bella…so no you cant" **Jasper said confused.

"**But you're MY pair of Jazzy-pants!" **I pouted.

Suddenly the room was shaking and I dove under my bed.

"**EARTHQUAKE!" **I Screamed. And then it stopped.

I crawled out of my hiding space to see everyone with amused smirks.

"**Bella Darlin' that was Emmett laughing.."**Jasper chuckled.

"**oops…I have a new nickname for you Jazz!" **I yelled, flaring my arms.

"**which is?"**Rose raised a delicate eye brow.

"**Sexy Jazz!" **I screamed and I pressed my lips to Jaspers.

Just as Edward came through…

Oh god, but im to pissed to care.

And maybe, I DON'T care…

Edward never gave me attention anyway,

Was I falling for Jasper?

Im not sure…

Was I still in love with Edward?

Im also not sure…

But right now, im to out of my mind to care…

Cos im gonna go have me some earthquakes,

And maybe a lil' more alcohol.


	6. Chapter 6 mummys girl

Bella's POV/

"I Like yah, butt and I cannot lie! And the others just cant deny! That when I kiss, they get turned on and it ends up just like this…." I sang whilst Jasper bent over and I slapped his ass over and over and over.

How did I get here again?

WELL!

I agreed to playing truth or dare when me and Edward were together…

I found out Alice is mated to my human dad and wants to probs bed him!

Emmm…

Me and jasper are mates….

Me and Edward have broken up (I hope cos im goin out with sexy jazz!)

I also learned that I feel better in my underwear

AND

Esme can REALLY dirty talk!

Anyway back to present….

"oh my gosh! Do it again! Do it again!" Emmett screamed, his head near jaspers ass.

"nooo! Or ill have to use cream!" Jasper whined.

I tutted and looked at Alice

"could never stand a moaner, my mama always said 'Isabella…if a man moans, use the sugar pott'"

I stopped and dragged Jasper to our bedroom. Everyone else following.

I threw jazz on the bed and tied his arms, and legs to the posts.

Then I ran downstairs and got the sugar pott and went back upstairs.

I then licked my fingers and stuck them in the sugar, making the sugar stick.

"Strip him" I said lowly, bending my head down. Making my hair fall out over my face, hiding my smirking lips.

Jazz was laid out before me….

With the sugary fingers I rammed the sugar up his ass hole and he screamed, then I tipped the whole bag into his mouth….

"Daddy always taught me I was a mummys girl" I winked and fluttered my eye lashes.

Should I continue?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Give me ur opinion plz! If not for me, for EDWARD!

OR JASPER!

OR EMMETT

OR DOCTORY CARLI!

But not Jacob…..

Cos Jacob doesn't respect everyones love.

And plus,

Renesmee would be pissed.


	7. Chapter 7 lifes full of lemons

**Bella's POV**

We were currently in the Cullen's hot tub , me, im my sexiest bikini with jasper on my right and Alice on my left.

"Edward" I smirked when his head shot up in shock and anger.

"truth or dare?" I purred he glared.

"Truth" he said snobbily.

"PUSSY! PUSSY! PUSSY!" Esme screamed at the top of her lungs.

"shh dear" Carlisle flustered looking around.

"shurrup Curly Carly or your getting NONE tonight!" she giggled and poured herself another glass of vodka.

"fine! DARE!" he smirked and nodded at esme.

"I dare you" I pouted for a minute "to play footsie with Emmett for a whole minute!" we all burst into peels of laughter.

"ew lil sis, so wrong!" Emmett groaned.

"Okay! Lets do it!" Edward sighed and started playing footsie with Emmett.

"sowrong sowrong sowrong sowrongsowrong!" Emmett mumbled and sooner of later, the time was up.

Edward smirked

"I did a dare" he announced proudly

"congrats, do you want a medal?" I asked sarcastically he glared at me then looked at Alice

"Truth or dare?" he asked her smiling.

"DUHH I aint a poof!, dareeee!" she sang and he rolled his eyes.

"I dare you to…um…eat some grass!" he said hyper, everyone looked at Edward like `wtf`

"that's a shit dare"….jasper announced.

"no shit" I replied..

"man, come on! Pick a…SAUCY dare" emmett winked at Edward.

"UGH FINE! This is totally gross tho!, okay Alice, go in a four way kiss with Bella, Esme and Rosalie.

"K" we replied and we all touched lips.

The boys were getting turned on so it all went to jasper and he moaned and sent out lust and then I started touching Jasper and Rosalie touched emmett and esme touched Carlisle and alice touched no one…

A minute later and we broke apart gasping.

"WOW!" Rosalie gasped.

"if I wasn't married and had not met curly carli, I would totally turn lez" esme announced and we all burst out laughing.

"Bella…" Alice winked at me.

"dare" I moak sighed.

"give jasper a hand job!" she squeeled. I smirked.

"easyyy!" I sang and got to work

Soon jasper was moaning my name,

"Bella bella bella!" he moaned and he was thrusting his hips into my hand, which I found, totally hot!.

"shit bella im gonna…" and he came in the hot tub.

"wow" esme winked at me

"hottest thing ever!" I squeeled and kissed jasper on the lips.

Jasper panted and raised his thumb and winked.

"Rosalie…truth or dare?" I asked smirking

"truth" she giggled.

"where was your most favourite place to have sex in the house? I said IN rose! SO IT CANT BE THE ROOF!" I laughed loudly.

"my fav?….umm….the kitchen table!" everyone laughed and I gasped,

"how….long….have…..you….been….doing….that?" I hissed.

"on the table?…around 2 years…"

"SO I HAVE BEEN EATING MY FOOD AS A HUMAN OFF THAT TABLE THAT YOU JIZZED ON! OH MY GOD I TIS GOING TO HAVE A RANT!" I screamed and jasper kissed me to shut me up….it worked gooooddd.

"Jasper" Rosalie asked "truth or darey?"

"dare " he responded quickly

"finger bella"

"my pleasure" he smirked at my shocked face before diving in.

30 seconds later I was moaning

"shit…jazz….your….good!" I panted

He pinched my nipple and I came HARD.

I French kissed jasper.

"amazziinggg!" I sang.

"Esme" Jasper smiled

"AYE?" she responded

"truth or dare?"

"well….it has to be dare!"

"I dare you to suck Edward off!" we all laughed except Edward,

"K!" esme replied and dived under the water.

"wait a minute I OBJECT!" Edward screamed.

A second later he was moaning for esme to go faster.

"yes yes YES!" he screamed as he came and esme popped back up

"that was fun" she winked.

"Carlisle!" she announced "truth or dare?"

"um….dare?" he said unsure.

"I dare you to strip everyone naked with your teeth and we have to stay like that!" she laughed.

Carlisle took jaspers trunks off easy enough, then he let my boobs free and took my panties off and me and jasper made out hard!

Then he stripped everyone else,even Edward!

"Emmett…truth or dare?" Carlisle asked

"dare!"

"I dare you to place every girl on a guys you know what!, sorry alice but you get Edward!"

Emmett nodded and he plunged jasper into me and I moaned in happiness and lust, then esme and Carlisle then alice and Edward (poor alice) then him and Rosalie.

Tis was a fun night ;)!

Just thought I would have a lil lemon for all you lemon lovers!


	8. Chapter 8 Jello Shots!,

Bellas pov

We were all currently at a booth at a strip club.

"Jazz baby, truth or dare?" I purred.

"for you?…dare" he winked and I fluttered my eye lashes.

"I dare you to…" I thought of something and I looked at alice to see if it would be funny, she raised both thumbs and winked.

"I DARE YOU TO POLE DANCE AND STRIP!" I yelled.

"That is Disgusting Isabella" Edward huffed.

"says the boy who got sucked off by his mom".Emmett raised a challenging eye brow at Edward, he pinched his nose.

"Please baby, that's embarrassing!" Jasper moaned.

"No sex for 100 years jazz!" I threatened.

"Ohhhh!…..right, some cunt get me signed up!" and he ran to backstage to get ready.

"Who wants a drink?" Rose asked over the music.

"Me!" nearly everyone yelled.

Rose pressed the bell that told the waiter to come over…the guy was SEX ON LEGS, and was naked!

Esme instantly started drooling.

"How big are you?" I asked the guy sweetly.

"14 inches" he smirked.

"Wow!….if I wasn't married, you'd be my husband!" Rosalie gasped.

"Agreed! You are HOT!" I giggled.

"Girls just get your drinks" Emmett moaned.

"but we are INSPECTING THE VIEW!" I moaned.

"20 jello shots dude" Emmett said to the guy, then the waiter was about to go get the drinks when I go and kiss him on the cheek. He laughs and moves his cheek so our lips are together, I pull away and shake my head.

"nut ut!" I giggle and sit back down.

"its jasper next!" Alice squeels.

A blonde, Barbie came on stage.

"can I now present, our newest contestant in the pole dancing comp…THE MAJOR!"and the crowed went mental.

Jasper came on, with a cowboy hat on….and I swear I jizz in my pantio's!

5 minutes later and it was over, jasper came over to the table, (we got our drinks 2 minutes ago)

He instantly kissed me, hard…licking my lips and inside my mouth.

We broke apart after a few minutes.

"what was that about?" I asked breathlessly.

"you tasted like that human" he growled.

"Alice…truth or dare?" Jasper asked.

"Dare!" she giggled.

"I dare you to go and make out with the bartender!" Jasper smirked.

"k!" and she skipped off.

We could see her clearly, jumping over the bar, snogging the guy, then running back.

"Bellaaaa….."Alice sang, "truth or dare!?"

"I think its only fair I pick dare" I moak sighed.

"I dare you, to let every member of our family give you a body shot!" she laughed and emmett instantly cleared the table of everything. I lay down on top of it, my back pressed into it.

"I'll go first!" Rose said happily. Emmett poured alcohol all over my front and rose trailed her tongue up and down my stomach, them into my belly button, sooking up the drink. She hopped down.

"MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!" esme screamed and she straddled me.

Alice poured the alcohol this time.

Esme trailed her tongue over my stomach and chest area, then she licked the drink out of my belly button like a dog, Carlisle had to drag her away.

"My turn" Alice said cutely and she hopped on me.

My jasper poured the drink all over my body.

Alice made patterns onto my stomach with her tongue and drank the drink up like a man who had no water.

"come here lil' sis!" Emmett straddled his big frame on my small one.

Carlisle poured the alcohol on my stomach, chest and neck.

Emmett slowly slid his tongue up and down my body, then at my chest area….then at my neck and he left a hicky.

Jasper growled loudly and I hushed him, emmett got off of me.

"Carlisle's turn!" Alice pushed Carlisle onto me and she poured drink on me…Carlisle did little nips and sucks, grasing my hip with his teeth. Then he got up, and sat with esme.

"Jazzzz!" I smiled and pulled him onto me, alice poured the drink…Jasper sucked on my breasts, and licked my mouth and cheek, licking, prodding and sucking. I sighed when he had to get off….

"Edwardo?" Emmett asked.

" . . !" Edward protested.

"yesyesyesyesyesyes" Alice repeated and lifted him onto me, and poured drink on me. Edward was hesitant at first , then he started sucking my breasts and moaning, thrusting into me. I hissed at him to get off, but he wouldn't. Jasper bared his teeth warningly, but Edward didn't budge. Suddenly Edward sank his teeth into my neck.

"Ouch!" I screamed loudly, and I burst into tears.

Emmett tried to rip Edward off , of me but Edward continued.

"MINE!" Edward roared, thowing Emmett off.

"Jasper, help me!" I cried.

Jasper roared, and started attacking Edward, but Edward (in a swift movement) ripped his arm off. All the humans screamed.

"Carlisle, Esme….kill EVERY HUMAN HERE! THEY CANT KNOW! I'll help to, Rose, Em…get Edward off! Jasper, calm down and mend!" alice screamed.

"your MINE Isabella…no other male can have you!" Edward hissed in my ear.

"I was never yours! I will, and have always been…Jaspers!" I cried back.

Edward kicked Rose+Emmett off, of him and grabbed me, and bolted.

3 hours later he stopped running, we were currently in the forest.

"Why am I here Edward?" I asked slowly. He turned round with a wicked smile on his face.

"no one loves you…..you deserve this" he hissed

He pinned me down, with my wrists above my head and he tried to raped me.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME EDWARD!" I screamed, clawing at him. Finally he let go, glaring at me. I glared right back and then smiled. He raised an eye brow and I smiled seductively. I crawled towards him and then….I ripped his dick off.

"OUCH! YOU BITCH!" Edward roared/sobbed

"Thank you" I replied sweetly.

"Im going to kill you!" he roared at me and I rolled my eyes.

"not if Jasper kills you first!, just think, he can finally build that torture chamber he always wanted!" I sang and Edward went whiter.

"shit" he breathed.

"NOW GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY!" I screamed at him, and he jamp up and ran. I laughed loudly and skipped back home.

3 hours later I was at the front door, and I could hear the panic inside.

I calmly walked in and the place went silent.

"Bella" Jasper breathed and was instantly beside me.

"Yesss?" I answered sweetly, fluttering my eye lashes.

He pulled me into a tight hug.

"are you okay?, what happened?" Emmett asked.

I shrugged "nothing much, Edward took me, told me that no one loves me" everyone growled at this "and he tried to rape me"

"HE DID WHAT?" Jasper roared, I shushed him with a kiss.

"Its ok…he didn't do it though, Hey! I got a present for you all!" I yelled happily and took something from behind my back.

"is that…" Carlisle chocked out.

"yes! That my family, is Edwards dick!" I laughed loudly and everyone joined in

Happier ending than before! 3


	9. Chapter 9 Nail Guns,Puke and Rope Part 1

Bella's POV

"BELLA!" Alice screamed in my ear.

"Jesus Christ" I mumbled then I shouted "ALICEEEEE!" Back at her.

"No need to yell" she pouted.

I flipped her the bird.

"Hey!" she shoved me off the couch "That's not lady like"

"Fuck you Alice!" I laughed as Emmett Walked in

"Oh Jazz man!, you gotta feisty one here! Get the rope!" he plopped down on the couch

"I GOT SOME ROPE!" Esme yelled running in, but she fell flat on her face after tripping over the carpet.

"Uh….where did you get that rope mum?" Emmett asked.

"well, me and Curly Carly were having a right good pounding into, if you know what I mean" she winked and thrust her hips forward "and I was tying up Curly Carly, and there was some rope left over so"…she threw the rope in my direction and I caught it.

"Where is Carlisle?" I asked Esme

"still up there" she pointed up and we all burst out laughing.

"I hear Laughingggg" Jasper sang coming in

"and I hear a gay cunt speaking" Esme sang back

"You got whipped dude!" Emmett laughed loudly.

"Talking about whipped….Rosalieee" Jasper laughed and came over to kiss me.

Rose walked in with a long kinky whip in her hand.

"Ohh! Me first!" Esme screamed, showing everyone her bare ass.

"Oh christ im scarred for life!" I cried, pretending to faint to the floor.

"I DARE YOU TO LICK HER ASS CRACK EMMETT!" Alice giggled loudly.

"Im gonna barf" Emmett made a sick sound in the back of his throat.

"Do it…or….No sex for 200 years, no cars for 300 years, no houses for 400 years and.." Rosalie was cut off

"OKAY!" Emmett screamed and got onto his hands and knees.

"3 licks Em" I laughed as I put my head on Jasper's lap.

"Jesus CHRIST!" Emmet sobbed before leaning towards Esme's ass.

He ran his pale tongue the whole length of Esme's ass crack and shuddered.

"Oh yes baby! More!" Esme moaned out.

"so wrong so wrong so wrong" Emmett repeated in disgust, before doing it again.

Esme wrapped her arms around Emmett and brought his face closer to her pale ass.

"IM SO HORNY FOR YOU EMMETT!" Esme screamed as Emmett did it a final time. Then he stood up, and hugged rose.

"It…was…horrible!" Emmett sobbed, then he did the worst thing possible. He puked up Animal Blood all over Rosalie's hair. Her pride and joy.

"HOLY SPARKLING VAMPIRES!" Jasper cheered and I slapped him on the chest.

"This gonna get down good Brutha!" Alice said in a gangsta voice.

Rosalie just stood there motionless. Emmett crouched down and started kissing her feet.

"Rose…shit, baby im so sorry!" Emmet whimpered. Rose kicked him in the face, then ran upstairs.

"Tell Carly Hello Rose!" Esme said happily before plopping down on the couch with no trousers on.

"WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Alice screamed before running to the kitchen, then coming back with popcorn.

She thrust a bowl at me and jasper, then esme, then one for herself and filled them with popcorn.

"GO!" Alice cried.

Rosalie ran downstairs, with a handbag in one hand, and a nail gun in the other.

"oh you son of a bitch" she hissed at Emmett.

"ohh crap!" emmett started running round the living room, with Rosalie hitting him with the handbag over the head, over and over and over. As we sat and eat the popcorn.

"Shit…I'm starting to feel sick" I cried, clutching my stomach.

I puked…

And suddenly, before my puke could hit the floor, Esme's mouth was open, and she caught my puke in her mouth and drank it up, which made me puke harder.

"IM GONNA RAM THIS SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOUR BALLS WILL BE REPLACING YOUR EYES!" Rose screamed at Emmett.

"Bella" Jasper moaned before puking on me.

Then Alice puked Jasper.

"I WANT MORE!" Esme screamed before ramming more popcorn into my mouth, making me gag and puke all over esme's face.

As she slurped it up, Rose caught up with Emmett, tied him with the rope Esme brought down, and exposed his ass, which made us all puke…except Esme.

"Esme" Rose smirked, pointing to Emmett;s ass.

"yes!"esme cried, as she stuck her tongue up his ass hole.

Emmett barfed all over himself.

"Enough" Rosalie said and Esme went back over to me, jasper and alice and started licking the puke back up.

"mmmm tastes like Blood and jasper's cum Bella" she winked at me and I puked more.

"how, how?" Jasper asked weakly.

"Duhh?!, the times you cant remember?…Curly carly brought in a druggie, made you feel high, I had a suck of dat MONSTER of a lollipop" Esme fluttered her eyelashes, and Jasper puked on Esme.

"Shit just got REALLLL MODA FUCKASSS!" Alice did the peace sign before collapsing onto the floor, not moving.

"SHIT WE KILLED ALICE!" Jasper cried

"SHIT WE KILLED A FAIRY!" Esme Cried

"SHIT WE GONNA GO TO HELL!" I cried.

"SHIT ROSE NOOO!" Emmett cried at rose, and we all turned to see what was happening/

Rose, had got the nail gun, stuck it up Emmett's ass hole, and was nailing him in the hole.

"Whats going on here family?" Carlisle asked from the door.

"PUSSY SPEAK TO EVERYONE LIKE YOU SPEAK TO ME!" Esme screamed at him, And she threw a baseball cap at him, which he put on.

"Strip" Esme told him

"But…"

"I SAID STRIP!" Esme screamed in his face, her spit flying everwhere.

Carlisle stripped.

"NOW WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR AND DO THAT INTRODUCTION AGAIN!" Esme ordered.

He came back and walked with swagger.

"Sup' Nigga's ? who be eattin ma hole d'anight?, huh? Mofa fuka'sssSs?" Carlisle did the duck lips.

"I AM ARRESTING YOU UNDER BEING RACIST AND BEING A PEDOPHILE!" Charlie shouted running in and hand cuffing Carlisle.

"IT'S THE NEW JIMMY!" Esme cried, covering her eyes.

"OH WHOS DICK SHALL I SUCK NOW?" Esme whimpered loudly.

"Suck yer own!" Rose snarled at her.

"Kay!" and to everyones horror, Esme ripped her panties, and whipped out her dick, and with her flexibility, she started sucking and moaning.

"Oh christ£ I gasped before puking again

This is gonna be one LONG night

Review please!…(P.s/ No offence to Any Black People, Chinese, Japanese e.c.t)

Love you all!

Jasper loves you to! 3


	10. Chapter 10 Puke and Mcdonalds , Part 2

Bella's POV

Carlisle was lead away, his shocked face horrified.

"Try not piss yourself Curly Carly!" Esme yelled after him, before the door closed.

"Holy starry stars!" Emmett murmered, and Rosalie kicked him in the teeth.

"Shut up you fat Bastard" she roared at him. Emmetts tooth came flying out.

"I GET TO SEE THE TOOTH FAIRY!" HE SCREAMED. I winced.

Alice Rose from the grave.

"LETS GO TO MCDONALDS!" Alice screamed, and all the windows broke.

"'Kay!" and we ran into the cars, but we grabbed random clothes before we came out!, duuuh!.

We arrived, and changed in the cars, then came out. I was wearing one of Jaspers

Long shirts, with no trousers, with Alices huge heels, Jasper wore Carlisles shirt, Emmett wore one of my tops, Alice wore a pair of Esme's top and trousers, and Esme wore one of emmetts tops, with tainers. And rose wore her own clothes.

We walked in and got a table,

"wad'yah want?" the girl asked at the counter.

"I don't want you hunnyyy" Esme replied, clicking her fingers 3 times.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?" the girl yelled.

"D'aww, your such a cutieeeee" Esme replied fluttering her eye lashes.

"I WANT 6 cheeseburgers!" emmett said, and the girl rolled her eyes and got them.

"On the count of 3" Alice told us excited.

"1"

"2"

"3"! and we all took a huge bite….a minute after the puking started.

"SHIT!" I cried

Esme took out some plastic bags she brought with her, and some water balloons and filled them all with puke.

"SICK FIGHT!" And we all grabbed a bag each, and hurdled them around McDonalds.

I threw one right in Alice's face and she screamed loudly, breaking all the windows.

"IS IT WRONG TO BE HORNY RIGHT NOW?" Esme screamed

"YES!" everyone yelled

"WELL IM HORNY RIGHT NOW!" she told us before throwing more.

The police were called and we were all taken into custody.

They tried to strip search us but Esme tried to fuck one of the police, and Jasper hissed at them, hiding me, so we just were thrown into one huge cell…with Carlisle.

He was sitting playing a banjo, with a ciggy in his mouth

"So you Nigga's gonna spring me from this Prostitute Chest?" he asked smugly.

"uhh…." we said before esme was naked and thrusting herself into his face.

"IM SO HORNY!" she screamed.

This was gonna be a long night…again…

Sorry its short! I only had 15 minutess!

Review please! J


	11. Chapter 11 Crazy? Hard on?

Bella's POV

Okay…I officially hate this family.

THEY got me into jail.

THEY not ME

THEY!.

I'm not pointing fingers or anything but if they hadn't roped me and Jazzy into this stupid Truth or Dare game…

We wouldn't be here.

"Its like an addiction!" I cried, falling sideways onto Jaspers Lap.

"It's worse than that time I tried Meth" Alice nodded sadly and everyone raised an eyebrow.

"What?, 1970's dude! The drug age?…jesus, if you havent tried Meath you havent lived" she pouted.

"When do we get OUT of here?" Rosalie moaned, stamping her foot…hard.

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot?" Jasper asked with humor in his voice. Rosalie suddenly got in his face hissing.

"So what? You gonna stop me Whitlock? Huh? HUH!? SQUARE GO! RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!" Rosalie put up her fists. I stood up in front of Jasper.

"Now Rosalie" I said calmly "If you can just stop acting like a spoilt Brat, we can figure out-" I was suddenly on the floor.

"Did you just punch me?" I asked her, everyone was silent. Rosalie had a smirk on her lips.

"Yup" she said. I hissed and launched myself towards her, pulling her hair.

We were suddenly animals, growling, kicking, biting, hissing, pulling.

"YEAH! TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF!" Emmett roared. Carlisle Rolled his eyes.

"ENOUGH!" Esme screamed and everyone was silent, and we stopped fighting.

"Arm length apart" she hissed at me and Rosalie and we stood still as a statue.

She then stood in front of us and glared. Then…

She ripped mine and Rose's clothes off…even our underwear.

"WHOOO!" Emmett roared, high fiving Jasper.

"What the utter FUCK Esme! You disgusting Lesbian whore!" Rosalie screamed at Esme, stamping her feet again.

"Shush Potty mouth!" Esme stuck her tongue out at Rosalie.

I stared at Esme, with her jacket on, and her…fancy jeans with her stupid heels and her hair all sex-I-fied after humping Carlisle in the corner for the past 2 days…

I grabbed Esme's Clothes and hauled them off.

"Better" I smiled before turning to hide behind my Jazzy.

Esme glared and Rosalie smirked.

"Aliccceeee…..oh ALICEEE!" Rosalie sang, she found her hiding behind Carlisle.

"Shit, no! get away from me! NOT THE CLOTHES!" She sobbed, curling into the corner.

Rosalie didn't give a fuck, she hauled and ripped till there was strips of Alice clothes everywhere.

"MY CLOTHES!" Alice shrieked, holding her strips close to her chest whilst sobbing.

"Uh….Girls" Emmett's voice was strained.

"Yes Emmy Bear?" I replied sweetly.

"I know, your all….family….but I got a massive hard….on" he gasped out.

I snickered whilst running my hands through Jaspers Blonde curls. He began to purr.

"Curly Carli…why don't you purr like that?!" Esme's voice was hard and irritated.

"Uh…." Esme crushed his Dick and he cried out in pain.

"Purr…for….me"

"Purr….purr….purr" Carlisle whispered.

"DO IT LIKE A MAN!" Esme screamed at him, hauling his dick further out of reach.

Carlisle began to fake purr, we all knew it was fake, but Esme was pleased.

"Good Pet"

"ALICE TRUTH OR DARE?" I yelled suddenly, making her jump a metre.

"Shit, uh…c'mon Visions..! Truth…no!…dare!….WAIT!, TRUTH…" She garbled out.

"truth or dare Ali?" I smirked at her scared expression.

"Dare?" she whispered out

"I DARE YOU, to strip every male in this room" I smirked at her horrified expression.

"Even…Emmett?" he whispered.

"Even Emmett" I quoted.

She sobbed as she carefully undressed Carlisle.

She then moved onto Jasper, biting her lip, taking her time.

I began to growl at her pace.

"Shh Baby, you thought of the dare remember?" Jasper whispered at me, stroking my hair from my face. I nodded and glared at Alice till she was done.

Now Emmett.

"Careful Ali, he got a raging Hard on" Jasper Teased as he held me, nuzzling my neck.

She sobbed really hard as she took Emmett's shirt off,

Now his jeans.

She unzipped, and undid the belt. then she tried to haul them down to his ankles.

His jeans got stuck on his hard on.

We all burst out laughing, hard.

She suddenly grabbed Emmett's Penis and hauled it out, then took his jeans of, then into the corner she ran.

"Don't start something you cant finish Alice" Emmett winked before Rosalie took care of his 'problem'

"Bella" Alice whispered "Truth or dare"

"Dare" I whispered teasingly.

"I dare you to act like a mad rapist to us all, whilst we yell for the cops, and then you have to act really crazy, and try get into a mental hospital" she smiled and so did I, until I realised something.

"Jazz" I whispered holding his hand. He understood.

"Can Jazz do it with me?" I asked her, she shook her head no.

"Well then I refuse to do it, it hurts to be away" I rubbed my thumb over my mates hand.

"oh…shit sorry bella, sure" she smiled and I smiled

"you ready?" I challenged Jasper he nodded.

"ILL FUCK YOU ALL UP!" I screamed at the cullens, making them jump high.

"YOU SCARED NOW HUH?, YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH OR ILL RAM MY DICK UP YOUR ASS!" Jasper roared at them all.

"OFFICER!" Esme cried "OFFICER HELP!"

"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE SLUT, OR ILL RAPE YOU SO MUCH YOUR VAGINA WILL BE IN YOUR MOUTH" I screamed at her, cornering her.

"OFFICER!" Emmett roared.

"ILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS YOU CRACK POT!" Jasper roared. Suddenly we heard humans running, I smirked.

I began to scream as the officers met the bars. Jasper was in front of me, crouched and growling like a vampire. I was suddenly concerned incase we took it to far.

"Its ok Bella, Jaspers going to go through tests for a condition where you think you're an animal" Alice whispered.

"YOU COMING TO? HUH? YOU GONNA PROTECT THESE CUNTS BEHIND ME?" I screamed at the police, before I fell to the floor and started singing "Ring a ring a rosies"

Jasper was still growing at them, hissing.

"Get the Docs here now!" the human shouted to the other human, he nodded before running.

"Guys, slowly walk out the room" the human told the cullens.

They nodded and backed out the room, Jasper growling at them and me rolling round the floor.

The doctors (about 12 of them) came running with a huge machine.

"FISH FISH FISHHH!" I screamed pulling my hair.

"Contain her" 1st doc said to the 2nd and 3rd doc. The suddenly put this weird stuff over my mouth and I felt dizzy.

I pretended to faint.

"Get the Machine" one doc said to another.

Wha?

I heard them shock Jasper and Jasper laughing, they put the electrical machine up more.

Then up at full blast.

Oh shit this gonna hurt…

I heard Jasper Howl in pain before they contained him. My eyes flashed open before I realised what was happening.

They were separating us.

Ohhhh mama not happpyyy

Review please! It makes me happy to write! J


	12. Chapter 12 Smack That

**Bella's Pov**

**Now…**

**Humans…**

**Trying…**

**To…**

**Separate…**

**Me…**

**And….**

**Jasper?…**

**My MATE Jasper?**

**Nut Uh Honeyy.**

"**Yah know we were joking right?" I laughed nervously as the humans carried me in the opposite direction of my mate.**

"**You shall be treated, as will that man back there. don't worry lady, we will fix you" I snorted and he raised an eyebrow.**

"**I cant be fixed dude" unless there is a cure for vampirisum?.**

"**You sure Lady?"**

"**Possitive doll, you can just drop me right here, and ill park my little ass on a bus" I winked and he laughed. I pouted.**

"**Nope. Your getting fixed"**

"**Fuck you doc dude!" I hissed.**

"**you may have bi-polar disorder?" he wondered and I glared.**

"**put…me…down"**

"**No can do Lady, your getting-" I flipped from his grip and landed on my feet.**

"**I DON'T NEED FIXED" I screamed at him glaring.**

"**Come-here lady" the guy told me, trying to get a grip on me.**

"**Don't touch me creep" I glowered.**

"**Listen, little girl…you WILL do what I say" he hissed at me**

"**Only my mate tells me what to do." I told him firmly, hands on hips.**

"**Wha-?" I smashed his skull, and killed everyone inside, then went for my Jasper.**

**He killed everyone and was standing smirking.**

"**CULLENS?" I yelled and a car pulled up, with all the Cullen's/Hales inside with Alcohol and they were dancing inside the huge car. Half its roof came off in the middle and I ran into the car, Jumped so that I was inside, properly, and stuck my body through the middle. I demanded the radio on and lucky for me 'Smack That' Came on. Jasper joined me and I grinded into him.**

I feel you creeping, I can see it from my shadowWanna jump up in my Lamborghini GallardoMaybe go to my place and just kick it like Tae BoAnd possibly bend you over, look back and watch me

**Jasper smacked my ass as he sang into my ear.**

Smack that, all on the floorSmack that, give me some moreSmack that, 'til you get soreSmack that, oh ooh

Smack that, all on the floorSmack that, give me some moreSmack that, 'til you get soreSmack that, oh ooh

**I was a quivering Mess!.**Upfront style ready to attack nowPull in the parking lot slow with the ?lac downKonvict?s got the whole thing packed nowStep in the club, the wardobe intact now

**Jasper growled and ripped a little of my shirt.**I feel it, don and crack nowOoh I see it, don't let back nowI'ma call her then I put the mack downMoney? No problem, pocket full of that now

**He licked my ear.**I feel you creeping, I can see it from my shadowWanna jump up in my Lamborghini GallardoMaybe go to my place and just kick it like Tae BoAnd possibly bend you over, look back and watch me

**I took that moment (while he was smacking my ass) to grind myself in circles where his *ahem* manhood was. He groaned.**Smack that, all on the floorSmack that, give me some moreSmack that, 'til you get soreSmack that, oh oohSmack that, all on the floorSmack that, give me some moreSmack that, 'til you get soreSmack that, oh oohOh, looks like another club bangerThey better hang on when they throw this thing onGet a lil? drink onThey gonna flip for this AkonYou can bank on it

**I giggled as he placed open mouth kissed down my neck.**

Pedicure, manicure, kitty-cat clawsThe way she climbs up and down them polesLooking like one of them putty-cat dollsTrying to hold my w***** back through my drawers

**I turned and racked my nails down his chest.**

Steps upstage, didn't think I sawCreeps up behind me, and she?s like, "You're..."I'm like, "I know, let's cut to the chaseNo time to waste, back to my place"

He growled and turned me back from the club to the crib it's like a mile awayOr more like a palace, shall I sayAnd plus I got pal if your gal is gameIn fact he's the one singing the song that's playingAkon!

**Emmett shouted 'hey'**

I feel you creeping, I can see it from my shadowWanna jump up in my Lamborghini GallardoMaybe go to my place and just kick it like Tae BoAnd possibly bend you over, look back and watch meSmack that, all on the floorSmack that, give me some moreSmack that, 'til you get soreSmack that, oh oohSmack that, all on the floorSmack that, give me some moreSmack that, 'til you get soreSmack that, oh oohEminem's rollin', D an' ?em rollin'Boo and ol' Marvelous an' them rollin'Women just h*****', big booty rollin'Soon I be all in 'em an' throwin? D

**Jasper groaned into my ear and I shivered as my lust spiked.**Hittin' no less than threeBlock wheel style, like wheeGirl I can tell you want me 'cause latelyI feel you creeping, I can see it from my shadowWanna jump up in my Lamborghini GallardoMaybe go to my place and just kick it like Tae BoAnd possibly bend you over, look back and watch meSmack that, all on the floorSmack that, give me some moreSmack that, 'til you get soreSmack that, oh oohSmack that, all on the floorSmack that, give me some moreSmack that, 'til you get soreSmack that, oh ooh

**He smacked once again, and I attacked his mouth, my tongue battling his.**

**Then we crashed the car.**

**Heyy! Sorry there is NO truth or Dare in this one, but a fun moment yes?.**

**Silly Cullens/Hale's.**

**Bad!**

**Maybe they need a spanking…anyone want to help? ****J**

**Remember to Review! 3**


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